Spoilers for the entirety of How I Met Your Mother. Duh!

On rewatching HIMYM, I’m finding I actually LOVE Ted Mosby. Yes, I understand he’s a red flag. I understand he’s an unreliable narrator. But I think it’s important to consider almost the entirety of the show is a memory. His memory.

Ted Mosby is recalling events that happened years ago. And sure, maybe he was a shit person in his 20s and 30s. But when he was decent, he was actually really nice. And among the main five, he’s not even the worst of them by far. And you have to give him props for actually acknowledging his past mistakes instead of trying to cover them up.

Sure, he gets facts wrong every now and again. He misremembered the goat story. But again, the entire show is comprised of human memories. It is really hard to remember everything that ever happened to you in excruciating detail. I can’t even tell you what I had for lunch two days ago. Ted’s memories are actually way more reliable than the average person’s.

Human memory sucks. And there is always going to be an intrinsic bias in stories a person tells about their own lives. It’s called being the main character of your own life.

The Mother Was Ted’s Perfect Match

If any character was artificially inflated and had all of their flaws erased, it was The Mother. Tracy McConnel not only did nothing wrong. She was as close to perfect as you can get. When she was revealed, it made perfect sense why all of Ted’s other relationships failed. She was exactly what he needed and she loved him unconditionally.

And it proves that when it’s the right person, it can’t be the wrong time. Ted was supposed to go to Chicago and he changed his mind the moment he saw her. He called her immediately. He was as intense with her as he’d ever been with Robin and she loved him for it.

Every woman Ted has been with wanted to change something about him. Every woman Ted has been with created some level of conflict / tension within the group. Tracy didn’t. Tracy never asked him to change. In fact, where Robin said no 8 (?) times, he couldn’t even finish his sentence to propose because Tracy kept saying YES.

And that is exactly the point. These are Ted’s memories. While he can acknowledge the flaws in himself and in his living friends, he cannot acknowledge them in the love of his life. He could barely even talk about her without getting emotional.

Maybe The Reason Why Tracy’s Only In A Few Episodes Is Because Ted Couldn’t Stand To Talk About Her

I understand the reflex to claim Ted only loved Robin and The Mother was his second choice. Because Ted spends seasons talking about Robin. He spends seasons chasing her, getting her, breaking up and then repeat. But if there’s one thing that Ted and Robin’s multiple failed relationships taught us, it’s the fact that they shouldn’t be together.

I’m glad the show stopped right after Ted rocked up with the blue french horn because that relationship ain’t lasting. I’m sorry, we’ve tried this again and again and again.

Barney and Robin were perfect for each other. They were both toxic in exactly the right way. They matched each other’s freaks. Whereas Ted and Robin’s freaks were often in conflict. So if Barney and Robin are meant to break up, Ted has no chance.

But back to my main point. Sure, Ted talks about Robin a lot. But Ted also talks about all of his exes (in excruciating detail). So maybe the reason why Robin keeps coming up is because she was his friend for years. And maybe the reason why they keep getting back together is because they remained friends. And you really shouldn’t stay friends with your ex. Especially when one of you loves deeply and the other one is an avoidant.

Every Story Related Back To The Mother

I think it’s worth noting that every time Ted talked about Robin or Stella or the million other people he met, he always related it back to The Mother. Sure, the story starts with Robin but it’s constantly relating back to how every path, every decision and every obstacle paved the way for Ted meeting the love of his life.

And while Ted may forever go back to Robin, while The Mother was in his life and alive, Robin never stood a chance. And let’s not forget the fact that it took Ted years to move on from his wife’s death. And even in the midst of talking about Robin, he would have moments where he would talk about how he would give anything to have a single moment more with The Mother.

He couldn’t stand to say a single bad thing about her. In fact, he accepted every bad thing that happened to him and was even happy about running into Stella again because that was what led to him meeting HER.

This man is overanalysing every moment in his life to figure out the exact points that led to him meeting The Mother.

The Mother Was Barely In The Story Because Every Time Ted Started Talking About Her, He Got Emotional

I’ve said it!

Ted told a story all about his wife and she was barely in it because it hurt to talk about her. There was satisfaction in putting the puzzle pieces together. At identifying the invisible strings that connected them. It was fun to figure out everything in his life that led to their meeting.

But talking about his dead wife wasn’t fun for him. Because he would give up all the women in a heartbeat just to have her. She seemed perfect because that’s how much he loved her.

Ted didn’t run back to Robin because she was secretly the one he wanted all along. Ted ran back to Robin because his wife was dead, he was raising his kids by himself and he felt alone. He ran back to what was familiar. Because that’s what he’s been doing the entire show. He might temporarily grow up but he always reverts when things get bad enough.

And compared to his heartbreak when The Mother died, Robin is easy.

Final Thoughts

I love this show. It may be corny and it may be like every other sitcom that came before it but there are gems within it. There are episodes that made me cry. The “Look around Ted, you’re all alone” hit me in my core. Who among us hasn’t felt that way before?

There may be inconsistencies. And maybe the characters suck. But they’re also endearingly human. They love each other. They support each other in ways that most of us aren’t capable of. And they forgive things the average person wouldn’t. There is something so sweet about a friendship that is enduring and filled with unconditional love.

Sure, maybe the group split for a bit near the end but they got back together. Ted literally refers to his friends as “Uncle” and “Aunt” to his children. I strive to one day be that connected to my friends.