Spoilers for the entirety of “How I Met Your Mother”.

So I finally finished my last two units of my double degree. Which means I’m free from assignments and studying late into the night. Not that it’s improved my sleep schedule. I’ve only replaced late night studying with other things.

But it’s given me more time to return to shows I previously watched in the background while studying. And of course, I just had to go back to HIMYM. And I genuinely feel there were many things I missed the first time around (mostly because my head was stuck in a textbook for half of it).

And what’s stood out to me even more on the rewatch is just how awful the main characters are. I genuinely don’t think it’s fair that Ted Mosby is constantly brought up as an awful person. Because yes, while I can acknowledge he is an unreliable narrator, you can’t use his narrations to shit on him and not his friends too. That’s essentially saying that while every bad thing he acknowledges about himself is accurate, every bad thing he acknowledges about his friends is false.

The point of HIMYM is that it’s a memory. It is Ted’s last attempt to hold on to the memory of his late wife. A woman he loved unconditionally and yet, can’t seem to face recalling memories of her. So instead, he obsesses over every single thread that led to their meeting. Yes, he is obsessed with Robin … in the moment. But the version of him, retelling the story, is constantly going back to how every single interaction, every single choice, every obstacle led to him not only meeting the love of his life, but also being a version of himself who could keep her.

Ted may be awful but he’s no more awful than anyone else in his friend group. Honestly, the only person who was a decent human being of the main cast was The Mother. And she only graced the screen for a handful of episodes before taking an eternal nap.

Sure, there is a huge bias. But that bias exists because Ted is the narrator. This is his story. You feel for him, even when he’s being a douche, because you are living the story through his eyes. And while parts may be exaggerated or misremembered, the overall sense of the story is true. And the truth is, he is an awful person surrounded by awful people.

Marshall Eriksen

Funnily enough, of the main five, Marshall is the least awful. And yet … he’s still judgmental, manipulative and at times, inconsiderate. Honestly, the version of him we saw before he married Lily might have been his best self.

Because once they were married, while he still had great moments, there were also times he was very selfish. He was unable to set any boundaries. He went out of his way to help strangers and often sidelined Lily in the process. Not to mention the fact that he never made any attempts to shield Lily from just how intrusive his father was.

Even if we look at something as simple as “Slapsgiving”: Lily spent the entire day before and the day of running around, preparing everything. And he just sat there and did nothing to help her. And not only did he not provide her any support, whatsoever, he actively sabotaged what she was trying to do.

The girl was doing everything in her power to make a memorable thanksgiving and he was more concerned with terrorising Barney. And yes, she did relent and allow him to slap Barney. But that was only because Barney got so obnoxiously irritating, she felt he needed to be put in his place.

Lily Aldrin

Where do we start with Lily Aldrin: is it how she ran away from her fiance right before their wedding and then expected everything to be forgiven the moment she returned? Is it how she constantly hid things from Marshall and sabotaged his life: her credit card debt, her doubts about their relationship, her dissatisfaction with her life. Or is it her superiority complex that gave her complete confidence she was in the right? To the point she punished immoral acts by doing worse herself.

She had the gall to completely ghost her loved ones, and yet still expected to be immediately forgiven once she returned. And she only came back because she realised she couldn’t make it as an artist in San Francisco and Barney begged her to come back.

But when Ted calls her one bad name (and honestly, as an Australian, that word doesn’t even feel that bad), she decides to wreck his Christmas. And despite his numerous attempts to apologise, she makes him so uncomfortable he would rather spend Christmas with judgmental and oppressive family members. And to think, she would never have apologised to him if Marshall hadn’t made her realise how much Ted goes out for her.

She might just be the most selfish character on the show. And even if we just look at how many bad things she does to Ted, she is an awful friend. And if we look at what she’s like with Marshall, she may be hot but she’s a terrible partner.

She’s so awful, it makes Marshall’s boundary crossing and judgmental nature seem almost bearable.

Barney Stinson

Even if only half of what Ted says about Barney is accurate, he’s still a misogynistic, chauvinstic trash bag of a man. His one redeeming quality being that deep down, he’s actually a good friend. He genuinely cares about his people.

Let’s not forget that he funded Lily and Marshall’s honeymoon. And I know they believe they tricked him into doing it. But for $10 000, he could’ve hired practically any artist to paint him nude. And yet he asked Lily specificially. And when he heard Lily complain about the big ticket items on their registry not being purchased, he gave them all of his prizes from “The Price Is Right”. Not to mention the fact that he heard Marshall complaining once about Lily and literally got on a flight to bring her back.

He’s the type of friend who’ll groan and grumble but is always in your corner.

But that doesn’t change the atrocious way he treats women. And the fact that he sleeps around isn’t the problem. The problem is how he constantly belittles women and tricks them into one night stands. He doesn’t view the women as anything more than conquests and that’s deeply dehumanising.

Robin Scherbatsky

Where can we begin with Robin Scherbatsky? Now, she’s absolutely in the right for turning Ted down. He was being a freaking weirdo. In fact, he’s creepy enough that: “to Ted Mosby someone” is a verb. So she’s completely in the right for sticking with her values and turning Ted down.

But she’s in the wrong for trying to reel Ted back in every time he’s on the verge of moving on. She systematically sabotaged every one of his relationships. And if she could’ve sabotaged what Ted had with The Mother, she would’ve.

This girl just liked the attention. And she’s responsible for essentially ruining the friendship group. Because not only did she do this to Ted, she also goes on to do this to Barney. And she’s constantly cheating on her partners. You think Ted’s bad? I’d argue she’s on the same level as him.

Not to mention, she’s absolutely a “pick me”. From the first episode, she was actively shitting on her friends to a complete stranger. It’s no wonder she doesn’t have any girls by the end, she treated her friends terribly. In fact, when she stayed with Marshall and Lily, not only did she not thank them, she actively made them uncomfortable in their own home. The only reason she managed to make a friendship last was because she finally picked people who were just as bad as her.

Ted Mosby

And now, onto the character we all love to hate. I will admit: he’s an unreliable narrator, he’s a terrible person to the people he dates before meeting The Mother and his obsession with Robin should’ve earned him a restraining order before the first season ended.

But within the context of his friends, he’s not even the worst of them. Or if he is, it’s a close tie. Although, when he broke up with the same girl on her birthday, TWICE, he came pretty close to being the worst. Or, you could argue he became the worst when he dated his student.

But him being an awful human being doesn’t take away from the fact that he genuinely loved The Mother. Whatever you may believe about his narrations, he at least portrayed Robin to have flaws. The Mother had none. Every single scene she was in, she was perfect. She was exactly the type of woman he wanted. And while he may have spent years chasing Robin, when he met The Mother, she took his entire focus.

And on retelling the story to his kids, no matter where he was in the story, he was constantly thinking about how that event fit into the chain of events that led to him being with the love of his life. When he talked about how he would give anything to have an extra day with her, I felt that to be true.

Ted Mosby was a horrible partner. And he paid the ultimate price by meeting someone he considered to be perfect and losing her against his will. And even if he goes back to Robin, it’s only going to end in exactly the same way it has time after time. Robin is toxic enough to be a perfect friend to him but too toxic to ever be a lasting partner.

Final Thoughts

Even though I just spent the entire review shitting on the main characters, I still love this show. I think people need to understand that not every character has to be a good person. Not every character has to be likeable. Sometimes the enjoyment comes from watching a bunch of awful people live their lives.

I can still bitch about this show and thoroughly enjoy it. I can think the characters are awful and still root for them to get a happy ending. Because thinking Ted Mosby is an awful boyfriend doesn’t negate the fact that I genuinely felt for him when the Mother died. And it doesn’t take away from the moments he’s genuinely vulnerable and I felt for him.

This is fiction, after all. The characters have no impact on reality. So if you love them, that’s fine with me. We’re allowed to have our own opinions on fiction. So please, whether you agree or disagree, drop a comment. Let me know what you think.